Frequently Asked Questions
What purpose does a funeral serve?A funeral is the customary way to recognize death and its finality. The funeral process may include visitation, a funeral or memorial service, and/or a burial or inurnment service. These rituals are for the living to show respect for the dead, while helping survivors begin the grief process. The funeral process is a vital aspect of navigating the grief journey in a healthy and successful manner.
What do funeral directors do?
Funeral directors are licensed professionals who serve many different functions. They meet with the deceased’s family to arrange for and implement their wishes regarding the type of service(s) to be held and final disposition of the body. They organize the transfer of the deceased to the funeral home, complete all necessary paperwork, and obtain and file all pertinent legal permits and documents. Directors also care for the deceased’s body according to the family's wishes. Furthermore, funeral directors are listeners, advisors, and supporters. Funeral directors may recommend sources of assistance when a survivor is having difficulties, including linking people with a bereavement specialist or support groups at the funeral home or in the community.
Do you have to have a funeral director to bury the dead?
In Michigan, a burial permit or cremation permit is required. Both the burial and the cremation permit require a death certificate that must be signed by a funeral director. Regulations do vary by state. Most people, however, find it very trying to be solely responsible for arranging the details and legal matters surrounding a death.
Why have a visitation?
A visitation, also known as public viewing, is part of many cultural and ethnic traditions. A visitation often helps the bereaved recognize the reality of death while also offering the opportunity to visit with others, share memories and witness a strong sense of community. Viewing is encouraged for children, as long as the process is explained and the activity voluntary.
Visit Funeral Etiquette for more information.
A relative or friend has died, what should I do?
There are many things you can do. Offer sympathies and be supportive to those closest to the recently deceased. Make arrangements to attend planned services. Send a card, flowers, or a memorial donation.
Visit Funeral Etiquette for more information and ideas.
How do I prepare a child for a funeral?
It is very beneficial for children to be involved in a funeral of a loved one. The more they understand about the visitation and the funeral service before arriving, the more comfortable they are likely to be.
A funeral home is a place where people gather when someone dies. People share memories and offer support to the family and one another. At the funeral home, you may see the body in a casket, the casket may be closed, or an urn may be present. Flowers from family and friends and photos may be set up throughout the room. Children should be aware that some people may be crying and others may seem happy as they share memories; it is okay for children to show emotion as well. If there is an open casket, it is okay to touch the body gently; it will feel cold to the touch. For more information, please review Funeral Etiquette and GriefWords, "Helping Children with Funerals."
What is the purpose of embalming?
Embalming sanitizes and preserves the body, retards the decomposition process, and enhances the appearance of a body disfigured by traumatic death or illness. Embalming makes it possible to lengthen the time between death and the final disposition, thus allowing family members time to arrange and participate in the type of service most comforting to them.
Does a dead body have to be embalmed, according to law?
No, a body does not always have to be embalmed. Most states do require embalming when death was caused by a reportable contagious disease, when remains are to be transported from one state to another by common carrier, or if final disposition is not to be made within a prescribed number of hours.
In Michigan, embalming is required if final disposition is after 48 hours.
What is Green Burial?
A green burial incorporates environmentally-friendly options throughout the funeral process. A green funeral may include any or all of the following: a gathering in a natural setting, use of only recycled paper products, locally-grown organic flowers, carpooling, no embalming or embalming with formaldehyde-free products, the use of sustainable biodegradable clothing, shroud or casket, and natural or green burial. In natural burial, the body is buried without the use of formaldehyde-based embalming in a natural setting. Any shroud, clothing or casket that is used must be biodegradable, nontoxic, and of sustainable material. Typically traditional standing headstones are not permitted. Instead, flat rocks, plants or trees may serve as grave markers.
The Preserve at All Saints Cemetery in Waterford is dedicated grounds for natural burial, the first such burial space in Michigan. Other local cemeteries are also developing designated areas for green burial that will have distinct burial requirements from their other areas. Also an increasing number of environmentally friendly funeral products, including caskets and urns, are becoming available. A.J. Desmond & Sons is a certified green burial service provider by the Green Burial Council. We offer green burial services and products and are knowledgeable about the ever-increasing options. Please contact us for more information.
If there is an organ donation, can there still be a funeral?
Yes, there can still be a funeral service following an organ donation. Since a donation does not change the body's outward appearance, an organ donation does not interfere with funeral arrangements. For more information on organ donation, please give us a call.
Is cremation a substitute for a funeral?
No, cremation is more a substitute for burial. Simply, cremation is another way in which the body is handled after death. In cremation, intense heat is used to reduce the human body to bone fragments in a chamber known as a retort. The remaining fragments are processed into a fine powder and placed in a temporary container or a special urn selected by the family. At A.J. Desmond & Sons, we offer numerous service options to families who choose cremation. These options may include a funeral service or a private viewing time before the cremation, or a memorial service after the cremation.
How much does a funeral cost?
In 2010 the national average charge for an adult, full-service funeral was $6,560. This includes the professional service charge, transfer of deceased, embalming, other preparation, the use of facilities and staff for viewing, use of facilities and staff for ceremony, funeral coach, other vehicles, basic memorial printing package, and metal casket. The casket included in this price was an 18-gauge steel casket with velvet interior which may or may not be the most common casket chosen. Vault, cemetery and monument charges are additional. (Source: 2010 NFDA General Price List Survey)
Why are funerals so expensive?
Typically a funeral or memorial service involves people, facilities, and merchandise. A service is most often planned within only a day or two, so timeliness is a priority. Moreover, the cost of a funeral includes selected merchandise, like caskets, as well as the services of a funeral director in making arrangements; filing appropriate forms; dealing with doctors, ministers, florists, newspapers and others; and seeing to all the necessary details. The facilities and merchandise must also be ready. All of this contributes to the cost. At A.J. Desmond & Sons, we offer a wide range of services and merchandise. Rest assured we can arrange a service that meets your needs and fits your budget.
Does a consumer have recourse for poor service?
Funeral service is regulated by the FTC and state licensing boards. In most cases, the consumer should discuss problems with the funeral director first. If the dispute cannot be solved by talking with the funeral director, the consumer may wish to contact the Funeral Service Consumer Assistance Program. FSCAP provides information, mediates disputes, provides arbitration, and maintains a consumer guarantee fund for reimbursement of services rendered. (To contact FSCAP, call 708-827-6337 or 800-662-7666).
Do funeral directors take advantage of the bereaved?
No they do not. Funeral directors are caring individuals who help people deal with a very stressful time. Many serve the same families through generations. If they took advantage of bereaved families, they could not stay in business. The fact that the average funeral home has been in business over 59 years shows that most funeral directors respect and follow the wishes of the bereaved families.
Is it right to make a profit from death?
Funeral directors offer a professional service. Like any other professional service, a funeral home is a business that must make a profit to continue to exist. As long as the profit is reasonable and the services rendered are necessary, complete, and satisfactory to the family, profit is legitimate.
Do funeral directors mark caskets up tremendously?
No, they do not mark up caskets or any other merchandise tremendously. As in any business, merchandise--including caskets, clothing, jewelry--are marked up to cover the labor, delivery and other associated costs to stock the merchandise. Funeral directors do not make an excessive profit from merchandise.
Who pays for funerals for the indigent?
Other than the family, there are veteran, union, and other organizational benefits to help pay for funerals, including, in certain instances, a lump sum death payment from Social Security. In most states, some form of public aid allowances are available from either the state, county, or city or a combination. Most funeral directors are aware of the various benefits and know how to obtain them for the indigent. However, funeral directors often absorb costs above and beyond what is provided by agencies to insure the deceased a respectable burial. A.J. Desmond & Sons is knowledgeable about the various benefits and how to obtain them for the indigent. Please contact us for more information.
WHAT TO DO WHEN A DEATH OCCURS
What should I do when a death occurs in my family?
Contact us as soon as a death has occurred. The transfer of the deceased into our care will be taken care of as soon as possible. A time will be set up with the funeral director to come in and make arrangements. The director will help coordinate arrangements with the cemetery, church and clergy.
To learn more, please peruse this website. When Death Occurs may answer some mofre of your questions. You may also want to visit Funeral Etiquette for a more detailed explanation of terms and situations you may find yourself in.
What should I do if the death occurs in the middle of the night or on the weekend?
At A.J. Desmond & Sons we are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. So even if a death occurs in the middle of the night or on a weekend or holiday, call us immediately at 248-362-2500 or 800-210-7135 (Troy) or 248-549-0500 or 800-294-5668 (Royal Oak). Visit When Death Occurs to learn more. We will always answer your call and take excellent care of you and your loved one.
Will someone come right away?
If immediate assistance is requested, yes, someone will come right away. If the family wishes to spend a some time with the deceased to say good bye, let us know when you are ready. Our staff will come when the time is right for you.
If a loved one dies out of state, can the local funeral home still help?
Yes, your local funeral home can assist you with out-of-state arrangements, either to transfer the deceased to another state or from another state. Contact us and we will help.
For more information, see Death Away From Home.
I've decided on cremation. Can I still have a funeral or a visitation?
Yes you can have a visitation and/or a funeral. Quite often some sort of viewing, be it a family time or a visitation, precedes the actual cremation. We can assist you with a visitation or a funeral with a cremation following or a visitation and memorial service.
For more information, see General Services.
What should I do if a death occurs while traveling?
Contact us immediately at 248-362-2500 or 800-210-7135 (Troy) or 248-549-0500 or 800-294-5668 (Royal Oak) and let us coordinate with a funeral home in the area where the death has occurred. We will make all the arrangements for transporting the deceased to a local funeral home for embalming and preparation for return to home. You only need contact us with some basic information and call us when you return home to set a time for an arrangement conference.
For more information, see Death Away From Home.
What if a death occurs while traveling outside the U.S.?
If a family member dies while traveling outside the United States, contact the U.S. Embassy and they will assist you. Then call us. We are well versed in the procedures for returning the deceased to the United States and will take care of all arrangements.
For more information, see the Death Away From Home.
SOCIAL SECURITY BENEFITS
Who is eligible for monthly Social Security Benefits?
A widow or widower age 60 or older (50 if disabled), or at any age if caring for an entitled child who is under 16 or disabled; a divorced widow or widower age 60 or older (50 if disabled) if the marriage lasted 10 years, or if caring for an entitled child who is under 16 or disabled; unmarried children up to age 18 (19 if they are attending a primary or secondary school full lime); children who were disabled before reaching 22, as long as they remained disabled; dependent parent or parents 62 or older.
See also Social Security.
How may I find out more information and apply for benefits?
You must apply in order to receive benefits. You may apply at any Social Security office or by telephone. Just call the toll-free number 1-800-772-1213 and the operator will schedule an appointment for you or arrange for the local Social Security office to take your claim by telephone. See also Social Security.
VETERANS BENEFITS
Who is eligible for veterans benefits?
An eligible veteran must have been discharged or separated from active duty under conditions other than dishonorable and have completed the required period of service. Persons entitled to retired pay as a result of 20 years creditable service with a reserve component are eligible. A U.S. citizen who served in the armed forces of a government allied with the United States in a war also may be eligible.
Spouses and minor children of eligible veterans and of service members also may be buried in a national cemetery. Adult children incapable of self-support due to physical or mental disability are eligible for burial. If a surviving spouse of an eligible veteran marries a nonveteran, and remarriage was terminated by divorce or death of the nonveteran, the spouse is eligible for burial in a national cemetery.
See also Veterans Info.
What do the veterans benefits include?
Burial benefits in a Veterans Affairs national cemetery include the gravesite, a headstone or marker, opening and closing of the grave, and perpetual care. Many national cemeteries have columbaria or gravesites for cremated remains. Depending on the circumstances, benefits also may include military honors at the service, Presidential memorial certificates, a burial flag and reimbursement of burial expenses. See also Veterans Info or contact us for more information or assistance.
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